January 25, 2012
GIGLIO, ITALY- Italian Coast Guard incident reports released exclusively to the Flipside have shed new light on the true cause of the Costa Concordia disaster. While the official reports have posited several theories (ranging from the sudden appearance of a beautiful woman on shore to repeated ship-to-shore telephone calls from the captain’s mother) as to [...]
Posted in World0 Comments
January 24, 2012
EVANSTON — A&O Productions is thrilled to announce that winter speaker Kenan Thompson will be performing this Friday January 27, 2012 at Pick-Staiger Auditorium, and will answer questions in a brief Q&A period following his stand-up routine. As advertised on their “ASK KENAN” posters, A&O says students can feel free to ask the performer questions [...]
Posted in Entertainment0 Comments
January 18, 2012
EVANSTON – This past Monday, Caucasian students all over Northwestern’s campus banded together to feel collectively uncomfortable as the nation celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day. While a service day on Saturday and a Monday night vigil were held in King’s honor, the biggest tribute to his legacy was the multitude of slight sensations of [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
January 18, 2012
EVANSTON – With January halfway over, Northwestern University experienced its first snowfall of winter quarter last Thursday, much to the excitement of stupid, stupid freshmen. “I am, like, so excited for all this snow!” exclaimed well-meaning-yet-slightly-dim Weinberg freshman Jessica Garber. “I grew up in SoCal, so I’m super pumped for this snowfall. Literally every upperclassman [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
January 16, 2012
WASHINGTON – The Crunchwrap Supreme Court announced Tuesday their verdict in UBFA v. Kellogg, affirming the death sentence for Barry Kellogg issued by the 11th Court of Applepeels. The verdict did not come as a surprise after a photograph of the defendant surfaced that provided nearly insurmountable evidence of the defendant’s guilt. Ruth Bader Ginsburger, [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
January 16, 2012
MTV’s Jersey Shore Cast Raises Awareness for Spreading Medical Concern SEASIDE HEIGHTS — While culture critics have decried Jersey Shore as “inane,” the season premiere of the reality show has brought an important health issue facing young Americans to the public consciousness. In Italy, a country famous for its cold climate and harsh terrain, Mike, [...]
Posted in Entertainment0 Comments
January 16, 2012
EVANSTON – During last week’s heat wave, the sheets of ice on top of the Norris ice rink melted away, allowing a Northwestern student to make a startling discovery: the frozen corpse of an NU student dated at 4000 years old. “This is a fantastic find,” explained NU professor Dr. Harry Tooth, “The remarkably well-preserved [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
January 13, 2012
EVANSTON — With doomsday approaching at the end of 2012, people and communities are desperately seeking ways to do good and collect some positive karma. Northwestern University’s Panhellenic Association (PHA) is no exception. At the last Greek Life Summit, the Panhellenic board decreed that the sororities had to diversify their new pledge class, encouraging them [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
January 12, 2012
EVANSTON – Last Friday night, I set off to experience the hotly anticipated film event, The Devil Inside. I have to admit, I didn’t know what to expect the first time; half of my girl friends had already frequently experienced The Devil Inside and found it quite pleasurable, but I did know a few others [...]
Posted in Entertainment0 Comments
January 12, 2012
DES MOINES — After receiving only 6 votes in the Iowa Caucus, lizard people said they will return to the marshes to reassess their candidacy. The decision was revealed in a speech delivered to the reptilians’ supporters who gathered in the campaign’s headquarter in Des Moines. “Hissss… Shsssh shhh hisss hssssss…. I’m sorry, there must [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
Added on September 18, 2011
Northwestern Opens New Study Abroad Program in Plex
Congress Discovers the Internet; Decides to Ban it
Congress Orders Cussing Websites to Wash Their Mouths Out with SOPA
Big Oil Launches New Ad Campaign: “Keystone, You’re Soooo Crude!”
Holiday Decorations Boost Campus Blue-Lights to Federal Minimum
