“Do I sometimes get jealous of other rankings and their hot Ivy League partners? Sure. But Morty is my man, and I think Northwestern University is a great school to be with,” the ranking said.
“We always look for ways to offer students the best studying experience, and we hope this new initiative will allow students to get some work done with friends in a casual setting,” said Head Librarian Donna Peters.
The city has been slow to act against the gang; Mayor Hagerty, when told of these demands, responded, “Huh?”
Rather than having to put in user details, the app uses the camera to do a facial scan and delivers a verdict of “Honey, No, Come on.”