Palin Suffering from Post-Election Tourette’s Syndrome
JUNEAU, AK—Alaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Tourette’s Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla on Wednesday, January 28th and has been observation ever since.
“I saw her walking down the street, and went over to give her a hello, and all she could say was ‘Maverick maverick 9/11 terrorist Joe sixpack.’ I was so confused,” said Wasilla resident and acquaintance Joanne Mores. “At first, I thought she was making some sort of ironic, witty self-deprecating joke, but she just kept going and wouldn’t stop. ‘Pit bull earmarks bridge to nowhere Putin.’ I didn’t know what to do.”
Doctor James Bradford, chief of long-term care at Juneau Central, offered this information about Palin’s condition: “The stress of the election clearly caused some sort of neural disconnect between the thalamus and the frontal cortex of her brain. Unfortunately, this may never be curable.”
When asked for comment, the Governor herself replied only with, “Hockey mom real America maverick drill baby drill fuck Katie Couric.”