McCormick Students Celebrate Centennial by Playing Video Games, Practicing Abstinence

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Most of the McCormick students today are honoring their founders by upholding past traditions. “Look, we’re not going to change anything here,” Slivka President Sam Farrine told The Flipside. “We’re going to pay tribute to our one hundred years by doing what we’ve always done best: homework, video games, abstinence. Star Wars could be thrown in there somewhere, obviously. It’s a rather powerful equation if I may say so myself. Almost as powerful as the Schrödinger equation.”

The students who refuse to keep these three guidelines, says Farrine, usually “transfer to Weinberg or the School of Communication.” You know, something that’s not miserable.

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