ZOMBIE ISSUE: Compassionate Zombie Exiled By Peers, Not Allowed to Play Kickbrain

Zombie 1008 has faced untold of isolation for his extremely sensitive views on brain-eating etiquette, puppy killing and zombie baptisms.

“We knew from the day he was infected he was something different,” said his blood father, #873. “We just didn’t know that different meant ‘having a heart’ instead of wanting to eat them.”

1008 likes to spend his days by the toxic green river, staring at his reflection and pondering the beauty of his molding flesh. Some have even reported that he likes to watch reruns of I Am Legend at night, crying himself to sleep when Will Smith dies.

“What should I do?” asks Z-1008. “Should I accept my role as a villain? I am not a role model. I abandoned my home to hunt with the faster, taller zombies. Should I be who you want me to be—a blood-sucking, backstabbing, heart-eating, arrogant zombie?”

“No. I will not be a member of the mob mentality. It’s all about me, numero uno…008.”

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