Blagojevich Advises Paterson On How To Cash In On Publicity

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Evanston, IL- Prompted by the recent success of Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich’s talk about ethics at Northwestern University, New York governor David Paterson has decided to host a seminar about the importance of vision in government.

Former governor Blagojevich takes credit for helping Paterson to see the light. “I just told him about how well my ethics seminar went. I also talked about how despite contrary advice from my lawyers, I appeared on The Apprentice and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here to boost my profile. There is no way I will be found guilty when my trial resumes”.

In a matter allegedly unrelated to the aforementioned corruption trial, Blagojevich denies charges of scalping tickets for his free ethics discussion.

Following in the footsteps of Blagojevich, a fine gubernatorial role model, Patterson jumped on the idea for his speaking tour about vision. According to Governor Paterson, “My ability to see all my obstacles clearly without stumbling along the way has enabled me to excel in my partial term as governor.” He added, “Once and a while things get a little touch and go, but I have an acute sensory system, so that has not been a problem.”

Governor Paterson has had his own set of troubles since taking office, including repeated allegations of extra-marital affairs, drug use, and other major indiscretions. When asked about this personal turmoil in his short time as governor and why he recently announced, after stubbornly defying President Obama for months, that he is not seeking election to a full term in office, he responded, “I have been blindsided by unforeseen circumstances.”

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