EVANSTON—The Northwestern Associated Student Government and Student Groups Committee gave the widely unknown Northwestern Flipside a whopping $100 to assist in the printing of its satirical publication. Despite applying for the money guaranteed to them as a T-status group in May of 2009, the now pending B-status group has largely been ignored until now.

“It’s not that we needed the money for anything important,” Nick Zessis, the President and founder of The Flipside, told The Flipside. “I mean, we weren’t trying to print our publication and get our names out there or anything like that. We weren’t trying to make people laugh or brighten up their day. Asking for money to do that is an impossible request. Why would we ever want that?”

The Flipside’s readership is at an all time high, averaging nearly 200 pageviews a day, that according to the website’s Google Analytics account. That’s not counting the nearly 3000 copies distributed across campus once a quarter.

“Everything is coming along very nicely,” added Sam Gutelle, The Flipside’s Vice-President. “We’ve spent a lot of time at the various activities fairs. A lot of time. Just sitting there. Handing out issues.”

The Flipside has an expert staff of editors, marketers, writers, designers, procrastinators, and video personnel that make for an efficient student group.

“We sit down after every meeting and take a close look at each article,” Managing Editor Tom Schroeder said. “It’s great because there’s no fact checking. It’s like we’re Fox News or something.”

Sam Gutelle quickly remarked, “Editors make changes to my articles. I don’t like that.” When asked why, he responded, “I’m from Jersey, that’s why.”

Andrew Gresik, the group’s Secretary, provides the group with insightful feedback. For example, he’s best known for saying things like, “That article idea is not funny, don’t use it.” It’s his enthusiasm that really brings out his true feelings for an idea.

Brad Weinberger, the trusty Director of IT and Treasurer, had no comment for this article because he doesn’t read The Flipside.

Alex Liu and Katie Prentiss, the remaining Executive Board members, also declined comment, citing that “they did not want to be associated with such dysfunctional groups because they do good work.”

All in all, The Northwestern Flipside will most definitely put that generous $100 to good use. With that kind of money, and such a functional Exec Board, everyone will soon be aware of the currently obscure publication.

The title and topic of this article is factual. The quotes and depicted incompetence of said members is satirical…kind of. April Fool’s!