Baseball Proves Football Superior to Hockey, says New Yorker

NEW YORK—The baseball season officially reached its end last Monday when the Giants won the World Series over the Rangers in five games.

Experts cite many factors supporting the outcome, such as the Giants’ deep pitching staff, their home-field advantage, and their timely hitting. However, one fan from Queens, NY uses a much simpler reason to explain why the Giants beat the Rangers: “Hockey sucks”.

“You agree, right? Hockey does suck compared to football,” continued New Yorker Marissa Miller. “Football players would take out hockey players in a fight every time.”

Although she was more than happy to accept the change in sports seasons, Miller was slightly confused by its abruptness. “Baseball sort of just faded out this year instead of ending with a bang. I couldn’t believe it was football/hockey season already.”

When asked if there was anything strange to her about the fact that two teams from different sports were playing each other, her only worry was that they had the same colors and were representing the same city. She was unsure of who to root for, so she used past experience to guide her.

“Like many New Yorkers, I knew this would happen,” claims Miller. “The Rangers have been making the Stanley Cup playoffs for years and haven’t gone anywhere. But the Giants are different. They won a Super Bowl a few years back, remember? After that, a World Series should be a piece of cake.”

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