Spin̈al Tap Unveils New 11G Network

LONDON – Legendary 1980’s rock outfit Spin̈al Tap announced plans Thursday for the release of their own 11G wireless network to rival the current 4G technology operated by carriers such as Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile. “These other blokes are doing, you know, 3 or 4G, but we thought…why not eleven?” explained lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel, who found inspiration from his guitar amp’s volume range – which also extends fully up to 11. Technology analysts confirm that Tap’s surprise expansion into wireless networks was a shrewd business maneuver. “While other companies are wading around in this low-end 4G market, Tap saw a huge gap higher up and took it,” said Gizmodo.com editor Martin Farrell. “No one else thought of it. These guys are constantly innovating and changing our world.”

When pressed for technical details, bassist Derek Smalls energized investors and stockholders by highlighting their “gig experience” and vowing to ensure 11G stays “faster and louder with more gigs.” The band has already prepared for rival carriers racing to catch up. “Even if they went up to 10 or whatever, where can you go from there? Nowhere. Exactly, see – it’s one more,” said Tufnel at a press conference. All 11G users will receive unlimited free downloads of Spin̈al Tap’s breakthrough album, “Smell the Glove.”

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