Christopher Nolan to plant idea of Oscar nomination in Academy’s collective head

After failing to receive an Academy Award for Best Director nomination for his sci-fi film Inception this year and his superhero movie The Dark Knight in 2008, director Christopher Nolan announced today that he plans to plant the idea of a nomination in the head of each Academy member via the inception technique. “I specialize in a very specific kind of vote rigging.” explained Nolan, “Subconscious vote rigging.”

Nolan laid out his detailed plan to The Flipside. “I plan on taking the Academy out for Chinese food and slipping a sleeping drug into its collective lo mein. From they’re, its up to Cobb and Eames to finish—I mean, it’s time for them to vote.”

The director claimed that this tactic has worked for other nominees this year. “I heard that James Franco pinned them all under a rock until they agreed to nominate him. Christian Bale beat them up until they nominated him for The Fighter. And don’t even get me started on Natalie Portman.”

Nolan has attempted similar tactics in the past, with no success. “I had Bale do the Batman voice at them after Batman Begins. Would’ve used Ledger after The Dark Knight, but that turned to be… less viable. As for Memento, well, you’ll have to get back to me on that one.”

Leonardo DiCaprio has pledged his support for Nolan’s plan, hoping that the inception will secure him a Best Actor nomination. However, he has recently expressed reservations. Asked to explain his worries, he stood up and yelled, “WE MUST GO DEEPER.” Dicaprio has not been seen since.

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