Nintendo Announces Pokémon Generation VI: Sunni and Shi’ite

pokemon

This article was conceived by Nick Platoff, Bienen 2014

TOKYO — Following the anticipated success of Pokémon Black and White, Nintendo revealed that the sixth generation of the popular video game will have the “colors” of Sunni and Shi’ite.

Satoshi Tajiri, creator of the Pokémon franchise, told the Flipside, “The most recent Pokémon games – Pearl and Diamond, Black and White – have been called ‘lame’ and ‘boring.’ We clearly needed to make the next generation more exciting. Infusing the games with real religious conflict is sure to do it.”

Local Pokémon fanatic Timmy G., 10, commented, “The last few sets of starting Pokémon have been really pathetic. I mean, look at them! Chimchar is this ugly-butt (am I allowed to say ‘butt’ in an interview?) monkey-butt, and now there’s Tepig – some sort of fire pig thing. I’d rather train a Magikarp than either of those!”

Indeed, studies have shown that each generation of starting Pokémon has become 30% lamer than the preceding generation.

Timmy later added, “What’s Sunni? Like sunny? That sounds dumb too.”

Pokémon Black and White – which are scheduled to be released in the U.S. in spring 2011 – is the first Pokémon game that is not set in Japan; instead, it takes place in the Unova region, modeled after New York City. Similarly, Pokémon Sunni and Shiite will be set in the Middle East, and will introduce a new Pokémon type: oil.

It is also rumored that Nintendo interviewed Michael Vick about how to make the game’s infamous dog Pokémon battles more exciting. Tajiri declined to comment.

4 comments

  • Eli Navarrete

    Another thing the pokemon are too modern you should keep it more like gen 1-3 thase were my favorite.

  • Vanvaxin

    i liked black and white more than any other version cause they had more options to choose from and the plot line was intense. lol

  • Not A Faggot

    Are you all fucking retarded? Pokemon from generations 4-5 are based of REAL ANIMALS AND OBJECTS. Espescially generation 5. Whoever made this thing is a fucking faggot. What, do you want an innocent game to involve drugs, rape, murder, and fucking hispanic niggers? WE SHALL MAKE THE NEW GENERATION FROM KONY’S ARMY. OP is a fucking faggot. All of you, kill yourselves.

  • AMNASD

    Actually, the Gen 6 games are called Pokemon x and y

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