Area Girl Skips Pretense, Just Dresses as a Slut

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EVANSTON – In a daring move Monday night, Jessica Engel of 1835 Hinman decided to skip the theatrics for Halloween and simply go, as she puts it, as a “straight-up whore.”

While her friends decided to go as traditional sexy characters like naughty nurses and French maids or wear nonsensical sexy inanimate object costumes, like a sexy Mrs. Potato Head or a slutty pumpkin, she made the bold decision to just go as a slut.

“I figure, what’s the difference? We’re all going to do the walk of shame tomorrow, but instead of having the extra layer of humiliation of carrying a pirate hook, I’ll have the same base level of indignity as any other weekend,” Engel commented.

This decision hasn’t gone over well with other aspiring Halloween hoes.

“It just denotes a lack of class,” said Brittany Lera, who wore a hot dog vendor uniform-minidress with the words “I love wieners” printed on the backside of the skirt.

“She’s really showing a complete disregard for what this holiday is meant to be,” Ashley Brown said. Brown says her plans for the night included going as a sexy ghost (“like Casper, but with more cleavage”) and “hitting up dem bros.”

When asked what they thought of Engel’s audacious decision, Phi Psi Junior Allen Maki reported that he does not give a fuck, as long as there’s tits.

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