Kim Kardashian Goes as Gold-Digger for Halloween

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LOS ANGELES – Needlessly famous woman Kim Kardashian decided to go all-out this past Halloween.  On October 31, 2011, in an effort to complete her (sexy) gold-digger costume, Kardashian wore black Victoria’s Secret lingerie, a $2 million engagement ring, and filed for divorce from her ridiculously overpaid husband Kris Humphries.

Humphries, a player for the NBA, was utterly shocked.  “She just waltzed right in wearing nothing but lingerie and waved the divorce petition around like it was some sort of sexy role-play.”

Once Humphries realized what was happening, he was “majorly bummed – as if the NBA lockout wasn’t bad enough.”

When asked about her motives for divorce, Kardashian replied that she had “married for love, but this costume was like wayyy too cute and creative to pass up.  Plus, he was annoying me.  He just complained about everything in this really whiny voice and he was, like, always on his phone”.

Despite all the negative press surrounding Kim Kardashian following the split, she is still in surprisingly good spirits, which is plausible considering that she will soon be reaping the benefits of divorcing an incredibly stacked basketball player. She also claims to have a supportive network of family and friends.

Longtime friend Kanye West supports Kardashian and advises her to “get down girl, go ‘head, get down,” perhaps an instruction to hide from the paparazzi.

Kardashian is proud to have fully immersed herself in the character of Gold-Digging Bitch, and she hopes that this performance will finally let the American public see that she has the potential to be a real actress, and therefore, have a reason to be famous.

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