EVANSTON – The Flipside has procured a secret first draft of the apology letter drafted by the organizers of the now-infamous racist Beer Olympics. Here it is in its uncut entirety.

Dear Northwestern community,

The actions of our organization last week were reprehensible and will not be repeated. Getting caught holding a racist hootenanny was simply wrong. We should not have held the 33rd annual Beer Olympics and racial prejudice jamboree where students could see and photograph it. For the last 32 years, this event has been an integral part of many students’ Northwestern experience and nobody said a thing. We promise that the racist box social/Sadie Hawkins dance will not happen again, to your knowledge. We will reevaluate the mission of this organization and change our behavior until everything blows over.

The Northwestern community can learn a lesson from this: namely, that we should come together and respect each other as One Northwestern by refraining from narcing on one another. It was wrong that we held such a culturally insensitive event that the entire campus was then told about, unsettling many. We did not think about how our annual tradition would offend others; the event was meant to stay amongst ourselves.

We apologize in particular for misrepresenting the nation of Bangladesh. We missed out on a veritable gold mine of Muslim stereotypes, and it will not happen again.

Lastly, in an effort to put this matter behind us and move forward, we will engage in dialogue and work to make changes for the future. Specifically, we will hire a new chief costume officer, attend a costume making competency class, increase the amount of costumes present, and release to the public a full costume report. That ought to do it, right?

Sincerely,

Racist Olympics Coordinators