New Sorority Pledge in Love With Her Sisters, Unsure of All Their Names

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EVANSTON — Lambda Omicron Lambda’s newest sister Maggie Kelter announced Thursday that she is “like totally in love with her new sisters.” After receiving her bid Tuesday night, Maggie fell into a state of hysterical joy and, along with a throng of strangers whose names she would pretend to know, began shrieking over the fact that she was now a sister of LOL. Accompanied by the rest of her new LOL sisters, Maggie marched to LOL’s chapter house to celebrate.

“Me and, uh, what is her name… Kim? Yeah, I think it’s Kim, literally could not stop hugging and screaming about how we always knew we would be sisters. We definitely made a rush connection when our eyes locked over the cucumber water,” explained Maggie.

The new LOL sisters proceeded to take their pledge class picture, flaunting cardboard lambdas and omicrons as they all made candid-super-cute-awkward-fun-pledge faces that showed they were having fun but still being mindful of sorority power rankings.

After returning to her dorm, Maggie promptly updated her Facebook cover photo, profile picture, Twitter picture, Twitter “about me,” and Instagram. “I obvs made my cover photo a picture of my pledge class because we are legit the hottest pledge class ever, no doubt. I seriously love these girls! They get me more than just about any other group I have ever been a part of!” exclaimed Maggie.

She proceeded to friend 18 out of the 25 sisters in her pledge class, the ones she had never spoken to prior to the photo-shoot. Maggie admitted, “It was a little awkward when I friended and tagged the wrong Mackenzie, but I am sure the real Mackenzie will get over it. We are sisters now, and that’s something you cannot break.”

LOL’s new sister proceeded to express her excitement over the upcoming Big-Little Week. “I seriously hope my big is the girl with the weird hairline. I actually love her and she really got to know me during rush. We shared really personal secrets. Oh my god, her name was totally Becca.”

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