[Nostalgia Issue] Student Incapable of Feeling Nostalgic For Memories, Only Pop Culture References

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EVANSTON — Struck by a sudden fit of nostalgia while walking to class, Northwestern biology major Keith Catania fondly reminisced about his childhood infatuation with Pokémon RedBeanie Babies, and The Land Before Time. Reports indicate that not even a single one of Catania’s wistful smiles was in remembrance of a shared human experience over the course of 21 years of life.

“God I miss the 90s sooooo much!” Catania posted to Facebook upon arriving at class. The junior then opened an emulator app on his laptop so that he could spend the entirety of the 80-minute lecture fighting the Elite Four for the third time this week. A desktop folder containing photos of a family trip to Ontario has not been opened since the day it was uploaded.

Analysts say that the photos will be permanently lost when Catania’s hard drive crashes in six months, but that the young man will fail to notice, focusing all of his efforts on recovering his “90s Party Time!” playlist of Backstreet Boys and Limp Bizkit.

His sentimentality getting the best of him, Catania texted his childhood friend Brent Cox, with whom he once spent countless hours sledding and playing tag. According to phone records, of the 13 messages sent between the former friends, nine primarily referenced defunct Nickelodeon cartoons, while another two were dedicated to Ocarina of Time.

During his daily browsing of Buzzfeed, an unprovoked, long-dormant memory began to cross Catania’s mind involuntarily:

“Chicago. Beautiful spring day. 5 years old? Mom is there – what is she saying? What did she look like? The sunlight giving the faintest glow to her face as she hugs me AND HOLY SHIT SHE’S BUYING ME LEGOS!!! IT’S THE STAR WARS X-WING MODEL! I REMEMBER IT SO CLEARLY! STEP ONE: TAKE A GREY PLANE PIECE AND ADD FOUR ROUNDED BLACK PIECES TO THE BOTTOM. STEP TWO: ADD THE PRE-BUILT CHAIR!”

“I LOVE LEGOS AND I LOVE PIXAR MOVIES!!!”

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