CIA World Factbook: Fitzerland

fitz

Geography:

  • Coordinates: 42.068549, -87.691911
  • Area: 170 square yards of awesome
  • Boundaries: Slightly buzzed to totally plastered
  • Climate: Jubilant or belligerent, with little in between
  • Natural Resources: Grills, Face paint, Wet grass, Asphalt
  • Natural Hazards: MIPs, Alcohol poisoning, Over-cooked hot dogs

People and Society:

  • People: Wildcats
  • Ethnic Groups: Sorostitutes, Confused alumni, Their scared children
  • Languages: Bromanian, Keg-tapanese, Coorsican
  • Age Structure:
    • 0-18: 6%
    • 18-22: 63%
    • 22-30: 13%
    • 30-65: 4%
    • 65 and Over: 14%
  • Clean Water: Nope
  • Literacy:
    • Immigrants: 90%
    • Emigrants: 4%

Government:

  • Type: Fitztatorship
  • National Holiday: Saturdays
  • Legal System: Whatever, Man (party foul rules strictly enforced)
  • National Icon: Willie the Wildcat shotgunning a beer
  • National Anthem: (Marching) Bandz A Make Her Dance

Economy:

  • GDP: 3 kegs, 40 warm miller high lifes, $47,500 worth of fake IDs, $12.44 loose change
  • Unemployment: 100%
  • Percent Below Poverty Line: 0%
  • Energy: SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY
  • Main Imports: Freshmen
  • Main Exports: Drunk Freshmen

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *