Katie Couric Takes Northwestern Tour, Daughter Might Enroll

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EVANSTON — Tired of watching Chet Haze dominate the social media presence of the greater Chicagoland academic community, talk show host Katie Couric announced last week that Northwestern would be the next stop on her and her daughter’s college tour. “Where will we stop next?” Couric tweeted. “I don’t know, but I’m really looking forward to some Edzo’s! #NOM #OSUSucks #alsoWisconsinandMinnesota”

Professional lie-teller and Medill sophomore Jenny Friedman was thrilled to give Couric and her daughter, as well as several other class valedictorians, Eagle Scouts, National Merit Scholars, Scripps Spelling Bee champions, and Junior Nobel Prize nominees who “were like cool but whatever” a tour of campus when they visited on Wednesday. “Katie—she said I could call her Katie instead of Ms. Couric—said she’d totally give my info to her producers AND she tweeted at me after the tour!” Friedman squealed to The Flipside. “Do you have ANY idea what this is doing for my Klout score?”

Other prospective students in the tour group said that Couric “really seemed to hit it off” with another mom from the New York area. “Janice kept telling Katie that she wasn’t a regular mom, she was a cool mom,” high school chess champion Marty Franklin told The Flipside. “I think they even took an Instagram picture together by that rock with all the paint on it. I guess what was weird is that I think Janice said her daughter Stace already goes here. Like she wasn’t even on the tour.”

When reached for comment, Janice replied that “every day is Family Weekend when you’re besties like me and Stace!”

While Friedman said she couldn’t really remember her name, she definitely thinks Couric’s daughter will go here. “I mean young Spock was on one of my tours last year, so you can thank me for that Class of 2017,” she boasted. “But like, besides that, Katie kept telling her daughter that if Meredith Vieira’s kids could get in here, she better get herself together and write one hell of personal statement to make up for her B+ in Geometry.”

After some members of the blogosphere voiced speculations about her ulterior motives in encouraging her daughter to head to Evanston, Couric defended her comments on her ABC show Katie. “It absolutely is not because Meredith Vieira is a complete spotlight hog and trying to steal the daytime slot when EVERYONE knows I was the best Today show host. God, I just hope none of Matt Lauer’s spawn is smart enough to get into Harvard.”

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