Kanye West to Recruit Interns through Chicago Field Studies

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CHICAGO — Hip-hop artist Kanye West announced this week via his twitter account that he had partnered with Chicago Field Studies to offer for-credit internships for Northwestern Students.

“Kanye West is too much for one man to handle…” West tweeted, adding, “I AM A MASTER IN MORE JOBS THAN BARBIE. I NEED SOME NORTHWESTERN INTERNS WHO CAN KEEP UP WITH ME FOR AT LEAST SIXTY HOURS A WEEK. THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE YOUR LIVES.”

West is well known as an award winning but controversial recording artist, record producer, song-writer, fashion designer, model, author, actor, activist, celebrity, film producer, businessman, philanthropist, television and film writer, and film director.

West outlined the positions he was looking to fill in a long series of tweets, each ending with a set of ellipses. “I need interns to drive my Benzes around, even when I am not in them… I need interns to act as food testers… I need interns to feed me grapes while I listen to my own albums… I need interns to go through the proto-Jazz of Spain in the later 1910s for sampling purposes… I need interns to buy me my clothes, and other interns to destroy those clothes to make a statement… I need interns to summarize Aziz Ansari sets for me… I need interns to manage all of my interns and keep them from betraying me!!! I AND CHICAGO FIELD STUDIES PROMISE COLLEGE CREDIT FOR ALL OF THESE UNPAID POSITIONS,” West tweeted.

West also specified that while he is not looking for any specific majors, he is “HIGHLY ENTICED BY THOSE TRIPLE MAJORING IN CHEMISTRY, ART HISTORY, AND ASIAN-AMERICAN STUDIES. SUCH INDIVIDUALS WILL GET INTERNSHIPS IMMEDIATELY.”

When asked why he had chosen Chicago Field Studies for his internship program, West offered an impassioned response. “I WILL ONLY RECRUIT FROM THE CHI. THE CHI IS MY HOME. AND CHANCE THE RAPPER IS HOGGING ALL OF THE UCHICAGO AND DEPAUL INTERNS…” tweeted West, who was raised in the Chicagoland area.

West’s announcement was met with immediate enthusiasm by the student body. Beck Jenson, a sophomore in the Bienen School of Music, said, “I applied right after hearing about the opportunity; I hope that this internship could get me a job with one of the big-shots in the industry. I’d love to work at Jay-Z after I graduate.”

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