Illinois Barely Passes Obvious Fucking Bill

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SPRINGFIELD, IL — Earlier this week, the Illinois House and Senate passed a common sense, why-on-Earth-not bill, with the House voting 61-54-2 in favor, and the Senate voting 32-29 in favor. The bill will now go to Governor Pat Quinn, who has previously asked why he wouldn’t sign such an obvious fucking bill into law.

Despite being the clearly rational thing to do, Illinois is only the 15th state to realize the proposed bill had no effect on the people opposing it, and that it provided its supporters with basic, equal rights.

“I saw the proposed bill and was like, ‘Wait, is this seriously not allowed?’ I just thought it would have passed in the 14th amendment or something like that,” said state Senator Daniel Biss (D-9th District).

“The slight minority of the Senate believes that this obvious fucking bill should not be passed into law, for this kind of sound judgment will lead us on a slippery slope to more levelheadedness,” said state Senator Bill Brady (R-44th District).

For some reason, the passage of the obvious fucking bill has made national headlines, as the majority of the country has not yet realized how fucking obvious it is.

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