Area Freshman Goes Home, Feels Smart Again

A portrait of a mixed race college student at campus

EVANSTON —With Thanksgiving impending, students around Northwestern are preparing for the trip back home. Local freshman Julia Styles, WCAS ’19, is reportedly amongst the small group of students that are excited to see their extended family over the break so that they will feel smart again.

As she packed her bag to return to her rural Wisconsin home, sources report that she confided to a friend that she “feels insanely stupid” at Northwestern. The underperforming first-year apparently is looking forward to meeting her high school friends for the sole purpose of flaunting her relative intellectual superiority. Additionally, she is allegedly planning on being reassured by her upper-middle class parents that she is indeed “the smartest, most talented, capable girl in world” and that all she needs to do is “live up to her potential”.

At press time, Styles remembered that she had a take-home paper to write over Thanksgiving break to remind her of her mediocrity.

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