Ben Carson Goes Fucking Crazy in Las Vegas

lead_960

LAS VEGAS – During the campaign for the Republican Nevada Caucus in Las Vegas, sources have reported that Presidential candidate Ben Carson went fucking crazy. “You wouldn’t believe it,” said casino worker Juan Smith, “It’s like the man had suppressed all his inhibitions throughout his entire life and let them out all at once here.”

Carson was seen playing the slots, going to strip clubs, drinking heavily, and gambling away his entire campaign fund throughout his tryst in Las Vegas, all while screaming about how this is how life should be lived. Escort Brandi Taylor, who was with Carson throughout his Las Vegas trip, commented on his actions. “He was a pretty good client to have, as all he did was have me follow him to every casino and bar and watch him gamble or drink while he kept screaming; at one point though he did stick his head in my breasts and tried to do cocaine in them, but I wouldn’t have it. After that he did jump out a window though.”

Attempts to interview Carson following his time in Las Vegas have proved unsuccessful, as he is currently missing somewhere in the state of Nevada. In related news, three major U.S. polls have confirmed that Carson’s poll numbers have risen following his time in Las Vegas.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *