Mom’s Special Boy Declares Very Unique Major in Economics

College male

EVANSTON – Reports emerging today indicate that local student Gerald Waldman, WCAS ’19, known as “mom’s special boy” within his family, has declared an economics major. After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called “brave and very unique.”

Throughout his freshman year, Waldman explored classes in political science, journalism, and theater, but he reportedly never found serious interest in any of the subjects. With the end of the academic year inching closer and Waldman still not finding his passion, he knew he had to make a decision and allegedly told his friends he wanted to “do something different and be bold for once.”

When reached for comment, Waldman seemed hesitant about his decision. “Honestly, I loved doing theater in high school, so I thought I’d pursue that as a potential career,” he admitted. “But that just doesn’t pay the bills now, does it?” Waldman then proceeded to let out a nervous laugh-like sound that made reporters “physically uncomfortable.”

In an exclusive interview with Waldman’s mother, Justine Waldman told The Flipside that she was very proud of her “special boy” for making the “right decision.” She added, “I wanted him to be able to explore his interests and follow his dreams while still maintaining a stable lifestyle. So we, I mean he, decided to go with the interesting and unique major of economics.”

Update: In recent days, Waldman has reportedly broken up with his girlfriend, Alicia Simpson. He reportedly told his friends the decision was all his own, calling Simpson “a distraction from economics” and “not the nice Jewish girl [he] needs.”

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