Morty Goes as “Sexy Safe Space” for Halloween

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Northwestern President Morty Schapiro sparked widespread, socially-conscious dialogue this weekend after making multiple appearances at Halloween parties in an original Halloween costume he called “a liberated take on the traditional safe space.”

Schapiro graced frat parties, daytime faculty get-togethers, and alumni wine-and-cheese events dressed in a symbolically tattered bro-tank-turned-crop-top labeled “WHITE PRIVILEGE” and high-waisted, revealing denim shorts with the word “PATRIARCHY” embroidered on the ass.

“I wanted to show that no matter how much oppressive social forces try to marginalize us, the true self always shines through,” Schapiro said. “I also wanted everyone to see my six-pack. Mudd isn’t the only thing that’s been under construction this summer.”

A custom-designed pair of high-heeled Carhartt boots drove observers to question the way traditional gender politics shapes their expectations of costume choices.

“His costume totally rejected gender binary,” said Veronica Keller, SESP ’20. “You honestly couldn’t tell if he was being slutty in a dude way or a girl way. Just being in his presence was like a safe space.”

However, not all reception was positive. Some social justice advocates, such as Felicia Gutierrez, SESP ’18, criticized Schapiro for appropriating anti-appropriation itself. “Cultures are not costumes,” Gutierrez said, “and ‘PC culture’ is no exception. I’m shocked that President Schapiro didn’t recognize that his costume was offensive and unacceptable.”

Despite criticism, Schapiro stayed on message. In his last public appearance of the weekend, Schapiro was seen twerking on head football coach Pat Fitzgerald in order to foster a less heteronormative environment at the annual Ryan-McCormick Halloween Donor Bash™.

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