Women’s March to Conveniently End at Neiman Marcus

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On January 21st, the Women’s March on Chicago will be taking bold strides to send the message that women’s rights are human rights. It is no coincidence that this march will be taking place the day after Inauguration Day; it is also no coincidence that the Women’s March will be ending at luxury department store Neiman Marcus.

One of the March’s coordinators, Skokie native Kelsey Martin, had this to say: “We’re looking forward to standing up for our rights in this trying time. Also, we were thrilled when we noticed how convenient the location Neiman’s was to our march route. Many of us have returns in our trunks and they’re having a great sale—20% off to accommodate the 20% less we get on our paychecks.”

March-goer Amanda Benjamin, mother of two, was thrilled when she saw her route. “This is a sad time in our country. We women have to stick together. This is also a great time to stock up on some real necessities. I’ve totally lost my last lipstick, and I’m also gonna get a new dress.”

There are 616 of these Women’s Marches taking place all over the country, with Chicago and New York in particular expecting record turnout. “We’re thrilled to be marching several miles for the advancement of women’s rights while grabbing a cute new miniskirt as well,” said a March spokeswoman.

Her assistant smiled excitedly, “it’s like two birds with one stone.”

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