Sex Week Comes Early, Organizers Embarrassed

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Sources confirmed that event-goers were confused as to where to go, when speakers were appearing, and what to do with their hands. Cries of “Is this okay? Am I doing this right?” plagued the event information kiosk. Those who were experienced with Sex Week reported feeling disappointed that it all ended so prematurely.

“Frankly, we, the organizers of Sex Week, were just as blindsided as the students. The whole thing just blew up in our face. It was a complete mess,” Lettara continued with a sigh.

To make matters worse, many were concerned at the lack of protection present during Sex Week. Without prior notification, NU Police were unable to attend, leaving many uncomfortable at having participated in an unsafe Sex Week.

While many organizers and event-goers felt the need to curl up and cry after Sex Week finished early, the use of fireworks brought the whole gathering back together. “It was beautiful. We’ve found that an explosive finale always is a crowd pleaser,” Lettara explained with a grin.

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