SOFO To Require “Blood of the Treasurer” to Get Vouchers Reimbursed

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Local sources have confirmed that the Student Organization Finance Office (SOFO) has recently introduced a new policy requiring the blood of the treasurer to get a voucher reimbursed. “We felt that to make sure each voucher was signed accordingly and that no one can try and cheat the system, and rob SOFO of a costly $50, we decided that the best way to keep everything secure is to make each SOFO treasurer give us a pint of his or her blood before we can start the reimbursement process for their club’s voucher,” stated SOFO Supervisor Phillip Zombardo.

The new policy will require treasurers to give SOFO their blood type and records when they sign on as treasurer. From there, treasurers must then go to the third floor of Norris to turn in a form that will give them a set of SOFO-standard bottles and needles for their blood. The form process is expected to take two to three business days, after which the representatives on the third floor will hand off the supplies to the treasurers, that is if they can find your specific set of bottles and needles in the piles of paperwork laying around. After that, treasurers are expected to siphon off their blood and hand it over to the SOFO clerk when something needs to be reimbursed; lastly, the blood sampling procedure will take two to three business days to confirm a treasurer’s identity before SOFO will start the reimbursement process.

While many students have expressed confusion over the policy, most student treasurers have silently excepted this new change, having already sold their souls to the SOFO bureaucracy.

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