“How did he get such a good idea? If I ever get a girlfriend, I know what movie I’ll watch.”
Women should be able to not have sex if they don’t want to, Holbrook said, provided that they’ll still do “stuff under the table at Chili’s.”
Mimsy, a fucking moron, agrees that weed lets people connect and try to get along.
Here at The Northwestern Flipside, we apologize for not having a Trump victory article, because we believed in a benevolent God.
He has already texted his parents about his date, and he hopes to get coffee on the Lakefill with her before it freezes over.
“Each time he texted me something cute—and we’d text for hours—I’d blush and daydream for 10 minutes. There’s not enough time in a day for all of that, with homework, classes, and my weekly lab.”
“I’ve never had a history of sleep talking and, more importantly, I’ve never read the damn thing!”
Despite hours of intensely practicing George Michael’s hit singles, she reported being told to “shut the fuck up,” and to “douse that piece of shit in oil and light it up.”
“I’m a college student paying over $60,000 for tuition, and $15 dollars per thing of e-juice. There should be cheaper options in the area.”
“The only time I have to myself is on my walks through the woods near the kindergarten.”