As of Tuesday, there has been a single response to McBride’s post. Grace Lin’s “lol”.
“As soon as we saw the angry Twitter posts and op-ed articles in The Daily Northwestern, we knew that our event was a major success.”
Later that night, students began to report sightings of a “giant, writhing, spider-like creature” near the Bobb recreation room.
The jacket has now been there for over four hours, abandoned by former owner Jessica Myers, McCormick ’20, between her morning and afternoon classes.
Another option is to start wearing a CRU branded “Abstinence is the One True Way” chastity belt.
“I literally even put some of them in an Insta post, and now this is how I get repaid?”
Blatantly ignorant of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s right to take artistic liberties, Dawson continued, “Some realities were totally skewed. Sorry guys, but Hamilton was not that liberal!”
The location will scrap the popular live-cooking option in favor of an open fish tank, where diners can pick their meal using their bare hands and struggle for food-chain superiority over the gasping animal.
“At least the first two come quickly.”
Sources say Tarver consumed only three standard drinks over two and a half hours on Saturday, though Tarver claims that he poured “like, a couple shots worth” of liquor into each of his disgusting vodka Sprites.