The chores that supersede laundry, according to multiple sources close to Ostfell, include watching Netflix, applying for summer internships that haven’t yet begun accepting applications, and rearranging her bookshelves in reverse-chronological order.
Author Archives: Alex Kurland
“Last Thanksgiving, his mother and I said that we would support him whatever he ended up choosing,” said the elder Isaacs before adding “but” and four reasons why economics is “just so much more employable.”
After grabbing an unmarked yogurt from the company refrigerator, he knew he had to speak up against the injustice.
“I’m always paranoid that people will be talking about me,” said Steinhauer, who had turned off his podcast and was trying to make eye contact, “And it’s scary to think that I was right.”
As of yet there is no plausible explanation for why the high school student has gone missing.
Kreinbihl clinched the competition by pulling a 52-hour Adderall-boosted “catch-up session,” much to the dismay of her housemates.
Once aware that Ivanka’s position was textbook nepotism and that she was feeding her father the blood of those less fortunate, the House committee was forced to publicly condemn their fellow Republicans.
Under the regulation, every American will be required to use a browser extension that translates potentially subversive texts to politically acceptable language, to take effect February 25.
“I—despite being a straight, rich, white male conservative—feel like I can be the best ally to people upset at how the world chews up and spits out the little guy.”
“There’s something huge in those files. Maybe it’s just that the landscaping contractors skim some off the top, but maybe there’s something they don’t want us to know.”