“Yeah, my parents and siblings will be here, so I’m going to pretend not to be disgusting for a couple days,” said Sanders in an interview.
Author Archives: Ari Mostow
“I never wanted to be a mascot growing up. My dream was to move to an artist colony in Paris to pursue my passion of paw painting, but I got addicted to coke.”
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos tweeted, “Who’s Morty, and what the hell is Catcash?”
“This explains so much about The Rock’s psyche,” he said to Flipside reporters, “It knows it’s a total failure compared to its cousin, so it covers itself in paint to mask its own inferiority complex. Truly fascinating.”
“The hardest part of the class so far has been yelling swear words into my phone while shoving past families with young children.”
“I just wanted to make Northwestern look like it has more global outreach. To be honest, I don’t even know if Qatar is a real country.”