“It was a difficult spot to snatch,” said Hanley. “A creative writing grad from last year had been hanging out there, but I scared her off with my even bleaker outlook.”
At 9 p.m. last night, chess club president Jonny Kaplan, MEAS ’18, found the room he’d reserved in Kresge completely empty, burst into tears and cried out “They must have midterms!”
“It was hard to tell with those Physics kids, but it all became clear when we entered an English classroom. Those kids wouldn’t go near a number unless it had to do with the grade they think decides their future.”
Wells proceeded to stop in the middle of an extremely crowded Sheridan and begin crying so vehemently, onlookers thought she might have suddenly started a hyena-like street performance.
“I’m into Poli Sci, sorta. I guess. But I also think bio might be cool. Oh and journalism could be interesting. Honestly, who knows?”
While many assumed they must be working on a new building or the steam pipes or something, it turns out that they aren’t actually building anything at all, so don’t worry about it.
Sources close to Morty revealed how glad he is to have places like this on campus where he can just go chill out, smoke, and not have to worry about being attacked for who he is.
If we believe hard enough, Bernie will soon be turning those tweets into amendments.
The prospies seem to act as if they were a swarm of locusts, reducing access to campus’s vital sustenance such as Starbucks iced coffee and Subway sandwiches.
“I was really confused at first, but when she started swinging the axe at me, I knew something was up.”