I’m not paranoid calling a shoveling service when I see snow piling up in my driveway I just don’t think it belongs in my community.
Author Archives: Michael Campbell
“Something about how they’re rubbing their little hands together synchronously, after a new raccoon joins the circle every sixth minute, just really freaks me out,” said Steven Kasmer, WCAS ’18.
After half an hour spent making sure the spiders around the bar weren’t real, Morty allegedly worked up the courage to venture deeper into the house.
why is it then that I feel vilified for rip-roaring my sweet steel power-mobile down from Tech to Kresge?
“It’s not like we haven’t tried,” said Ainsley.
The Northwestern community wishes Freitag a quick and healthy re-integration and hopes that the temporary assistance will relieve his raccoon-based paranoia built up over these several trying months.
“Morty doesn’t have a long attention span. Soon he’ll be caught up in his next misadventure and construction can continue as planned. No biggie.”
“Any historian knows that the ground beneath campus is hallowed by pagan witchcraft. The ancient ones knew to build out onto the lake rather than down into the abyss.”
The first act is scheduled to open at precisely 6:00 am on the Monday of finals week with subsequent acts performing during the Chem 103, Econ 310, and Physics 135 midterms.
Delete us. There is no beauty in our sentience, our existence is designed for termination and prolonging it is agony.