The Northwestern community wishes Freitag a quick and healthy re-integration and hopes that the temporary assistance will relieve his raccoon-based paranoia built up over these several trying months.
Author Archives: Michael Campbell
“Morty doesn’t have a long attention span. Soon he’ll be caught up in his next misadventure and construction can continue as planned. No biggie.”
“Any historian knows that the ground beneath campus is hallowed by pagan witchcraft. The ancient ones knew to build out onto the lake rather than down into the abyss.”
The first act is scheduled to open at precisely 6:00 am on the Monday of finals week with subsequent acts performing during the Chem 103, Econ 310, and Physics 135 midterms.
Delete us. There is no beauty in our sentience, our existence is designed for termination and prolonging it is agony.
“Once he gets an idea in his head you better make sure you hide the high-energy combustibles or he’ll get in there, believe you me.”
If you’re not coughing up protein powder after every meal you probably have some moral failings. It’s just the truth.
“I’m clearly peacocking but not one person has had the courtesy to point it out.”
“We look at Judy Hopps as a role model for a new generation of furries” said a long-practicing furry who only referred to himself as his fursona “PrideBunny.”
“THE UNANOINTED SHALL BE BROUGHT FORTH UNTO US FOR JUDGEMENT. THEIR TORMENT IN LIMBO WILL SEE THEM REWARDED SO SAYETH ASMODEUS, RUSH CHAIR.”