Author Archives: Nicky Brailas

Pope Shrunk, Trapped Inside Catholic Center

By Pope Benedict XVI EVANSTON – Help!!! I’m trapped inside the Sheil Catholic Center. Can’t you people see me banging on the window? I’m trapped for Pete’s sake! I don’t know how, but I woke up in a strange place and the next thing you know, I’m tiny. They shrunk me so that I can’t escape what has become an impenetrable fortress. Someone needs to do something. When I find out who’s done this, they’re most certainly going to get

Stephen Hawking One-Upped by Some Guy on Wheel of Fortune

LOS ANGELES—Stephen Hawking was given quite the stir earlier this week as his lead was robbed by some guy named Ted near the end of Wheel of Fortune. As Ted ventured on to accumulate even greater fortune in the Bonus Round, Stephen sat looking shocked and appalled, making guttural noises through his keyboard to express his frustration. “I never heard of this dude before, but he made it real hard for me to win” said Ted. “When he said he