Category Archives: No. 37

drunk-guy

Dillo Day Issue: Dillo FAY yeahBut like regina spector

drunk-guy

By An Actual Drunk Man* So its been a great dfay. It’s been fucking difficult trying to login to write this ariticel.   I mena so what if my password was wrong the first threew times shouldnty i still be able to use my free speech. Its the first ammendment.  I shall not be silenced by the password code.  What was i writing abouyt?  of yeah dillo day.  Dydude we dont evewn have any armadillos here .  ity should have

country-music

Dillo Day Issue: NU’s Ten Country Music Fans Disappointed for 38th Straight Year

country-music

EVANSTON—Almost a dozen Northwestern country music fans were in disarray this past Tuesday when they learned of Mayfest’s final performer, rapper Rhymefest. Cramped into a booth at a nearby diner, the handful of fans nursed their disappointment with cheap whiskey: for the 38th time, their favorite performers were snubbed. Said Cletus Owens, a Junior transfer from Arkansas Agriculture and Whining, “I thought for sure we could pull off Rascal Flatts, maybe even Hank Williams Jr.. But Rhymefest? He ain’t country.”

ace-bandage

Dillo Day Issue: Confused Student Wears ACE Bandage for Nelly Set

ace-bandage

EVANSTON—Neil Byers, a SESP junior, was ridiculed for the entirety of Dillo Day for wrapping a large ACE bandage around his head in anticipation for the performance of rapper Nelly. “This is his ‘thing’, right?” asked Byers to a throng of chuckling students, “I went to a boarding school from 6th to 8th grade, so I really missed the whole ‘Nelly’ fad.” Byers explained that when he heard Nelly was headlining Dillo Day, he made sure he wouldn’t be left

nelly_005

Dillo Day Issue: Top 10 Reasons Nelly Wears a Band-aid

nelly_005

He got hit when he let loose his “Pimp Juice” He wasn’t paying attention when the ump said “Batter Up” It got a little rough when she went over to “My Place” “Tip drill” gone bad “Ridin’” with an Axe Murderer Angry Redneck attacked him for correcting his “Country Grammar” Cut himself opening the only copy sold of “Brass Knuckles” To cover up the scuff mark when he was kicked in the face by some “Air Force Ones” Got a