Category Archives: No. 104
MIAMI BEACH, FL — It’s no secret that Greek yogurt is popular among women; just ask any yoga-pant-clad sorority girl on campus and she’ll, like, totally confirm. Yogurt is chock full of vitamins and calcium that help maintain a healthy diet, but marketers sensed a gaping demographic disparity in the yogurt market and recently announced the launch of a new product catering to men. Powerful Yogurt, nicknamed Brogurt, hit grocery store shelves last week in an attempt to target guys
For the first time in its storied existence, The Onion has issued an apology for its content. Many were outraged when “America’s Finest News Source” targeted 9-year-old Best Actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis with a tasteless expletive, forcing Onion, Inc. CEO Steve Hannah to post a contrite note of regret on his site’s front page. After thorough discussion amongst The Flipside’s executive board and preferred astrologists, we have come to the decision that it is in our best interests for The
EVANSTON — Delta Delta Delta Delta Sophomore Allison Gordon did not have a Pledge Reveal night as joyous as the rest of her sorority sisters. In fact, she had been dreading the evening all week. She decided, out of respect and love, that her Pledge Daughter, freshman Rachel Solomon, was finally ready to learn that she was Pledge Adopted. “I never thought I was going to Pledge Adopt a baby, but the circumstances called for it. Her real Pledge Mother
On Thursday, the court heard arguments for Shelby County v. Holder. The case asked whether sections of the Voting Rights Act are still constitutional, considering that a black guy is the president.
EVANSTON — After considering the exorbitant amount of time each Northwestern student spends on CAESAR attempting to register for classes every quarter, administrators at Northwestern thought the online portal would be the perfect place to continue their push for campus diversity. Northwestern officials have not yet provided any specific plans about how they will make CAESAR more diverse, so The Flipside has constructed a list of suggestions on how to proceed. 1. Rename CAESAR “SACAGAWEA” – Trust us, there are
WASHINGTON — Sequestration began March 1 when Congress failed to pass any legislation that would allow the government to avoid the massive spending cuts. President Obama was reportedly “saddened and disappointed” that House Republicans did not meet his demands of a “balanced approach” of tax increases and spending cuts to evade the sequestration, especially since Republicans seemed to be “going Democrat” with their recent statements supporting gay marriage. Speaker of the House John Boehner said in a press conference, “What
VATICAN CITY — Thursday, February 28th marked a monumental day for the Roman Catholic Church, as Pope Benedict XVI switched his red loafers for burgundy and became the first Pope to cede the papacy since the Middle Ages. Prior to his official retirement, the College of Cardinals voted to award Benedict with honorary title of Pope Emeritus, to which Benedict responded, “It’s the least they could do, but I’ll take it. The whole time I was Pope, those tightwads in