Category Archives: No. 105

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The Five Kinds of People You Meet in Mudd Library

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With finals approaching, it is best to be prepared for all the students you will encounter when you return to the library for the first time since your last round of finals. The Flipside has therefore prepared a guide to dealing with the diverse students who frequent Mudd Library. The Ninja: He scowls when you breathe too loudly. He is furious when you crinkle your granola bar wrapper. He will death stare you for typing too loudly. This is his

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Anti-Doping Administration Tests Third Graders at Oshkosh Spelling Bee, Kickball Tournament

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OSHKOSH, WI — After running a full battery of tests on competitors at the World Ice Fishing Championship at the Big Eau Pleine Reservoir near Wausua, Wisconsin last week, World Anti-Doping Agency officials made a trip two hours southeast to the Oshkosh Elementary School Third Grade Spelling Bee to test contestants for a similar array of performance enhancing substances. “For a long time, we figured the only athletes who would use performance enhancing drugs would be like, you know, actual

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Dennis Rodman Mourns The Loss of Lifelong Friend Hugo Chavez

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CARACAS, VENEZUELA — Former NBA star Dennis Rodman teared up earlier today during a press conference, revealing the deep personal connections he had with the late Hugo Chavez, the former President of Venezuela. “I’m at a loss for words right now,” Rodman said between sniffles. “I used to travel to Venezuela every summer so Hugo and I could play golf. He was a great leader, and more importantly a great friend.” Chavez and Rodman’s relationship was based on a deep

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My Angry Feminist Roommate Is Totally Psyched about Sandra Fluke

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By My Angry Feminist Roommate OH. EM. GEE. You guys (actually, that phrase is SO non-gender-neutral and totally misogynistic). You students, both female and male, who happen to be reading this well-informed and non-biased feature, Sandra Fluke is here. At Northwestern. OMG. She’s here RIGHT. NOW. Like I’m literally in the second row of Fisk 217 and I can see her. It’s like I’m BATHING in women’s liberation. I’m more excited than a gay stoner enjoying Denver’s most charming all-you-can-eat

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Daylight Saving Time Fucks Up Dance Marathon

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EVANSTON — A riot erupted during Block Ten of Northwestern’s 39th annual Dance Marathon after the sleep-deprived emcees announced that the final block would be extended by an hour due to Daylight Saving Time. Daylight Saving Time, when clocks move forward an hour on the second Sunday of March, caused Dancer Relations to miscount the amount of time remaining in the thirty-hour charity event. “At first I thought I was just disillusioned from the lack of sleep,” said first time

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