Category Archives: No. 194
In a recent press release, Flipside President Jordan Villanueva announced the surprising decision, citing the recent trend of most major news outlets deciding to remove all pornography from their publications.
I just sat there in my chair, wondering how this happened and trying not to be labelled a gay-hating misogynist with a small penis for wanting to get back to the lecture.
“Because generous tippers like myself find it weird to see a woman on the money we use to tip strippers, and an old woman at that.”
“If it’s not dysentery, it’s cholera. Or exhaustion. We even had four different potential cast members break all of their legs in separate, unrelated incidents.”
“She’s flexible, she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty, and she knows how to get things done in the Oval Office.”
Bernie is as optimistic as ever, saying he still has a reasonable chance at winning the nomination, though critics have raised concerns that his electoral math was calculated using Common Core methods.