Category Archives: No. 195
“If this continues much longer, we’ll have to lay down the law.”
After much deliberation, the freshman decided to take a risk and commit to economics, a decision his mother called “brave and very unique.”
Surrounded by a haunted-looking Chris Christie, an ebullient Hillary Clinton, and several Miss Universe contestants, Trump began his speech by saying “Well, that was easy.”
Instead of jumping off a bridge, jump into a new line of work and announce to your parents not that you’re an abject failure but that you need to truly find yourself.
“You know, I had a lot of jobs to choose between. I’m a pretty desirable candidate.”
During a review session for the Econ 202 Midterm, sources have reported that local asshole Jeremy Crack (WCAS ’19) commandeered the entire session.
“Not just anyone gets to be a delegate for Hillary Rodham Clinton. These pledges need to show that they have what it takes to win me the Democratic nomination.”
The cast dispersed quickly and none were harmed. Once they all went into their dressing rooms, they were far enough away from each other to keep things at a safe, inflammable level.