“I was really confused at first, but when she started swinging the axe at me, I knew something was up.”
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Critics of the night’s events argue that Bee went for the classic “meme over theme” approach, in which she used repeated meme usage over any actual writing, effort or skill.
“We would never have invited someone so intentionally divisive, with such regressive views on protecting children from sexual assault.”
In lieu of her inability to really understand science, Owens has decided to show she cares by retweeting snippets about important scientific advancements and discoveries from the recently created Rouge NASA.
According to witnesses, Johnny opened up his laptop’s documents folder to find the resume he had used to apply to work at as a grocery store stock boy five years prior.
“How did he get such a good idea? If I ever get a girlfriend, I know what movie I’ll watch.”
“Thinking of cleaning out the old fridge,” Orozco said in a 3:21 a.m. tweet. “Want to wait until the time is right, though.”
Many sources have speculated that this development will surely be good for Northwestern morale.
“I’ll try to cut down the foreplay to the first two seconds so we can get right into the action.”
“After the time came for the short answer section, the tapping went from ‘Amateur Drum Solo’ to ‘Pissed-Off Flock of Woodpeckers.’”