![[Graduation Issue] Graduating Engineers Recruited by NASA, Theater Majors by Starbucks](http://www.northwesternflipside.com/wp-content/themes/gazette2.5/thumb.php?src=wp-content/uploads/2012/05/starbucksbarista.jpg&w=70&h=70&zc=1&q=90 "3")
![[Graduation Issue] Graduating Engineers Recruited by NASA, Theater Majors by Starbucks](http://www.northwesternflipside.com/wp-content/themes/gazette2.5/thumb.php?src=wp-content/uploads/2012/05/starbucksbarista.jpg&w=595&h=292&zc=1&q=90)
March 31, 2012
FRANKFORT, KY – Adam Curtis found new religious convictions Thursday when he noticed that the burn-marks on his toast formed the image of his lord and savior Jesus Christ. The “burn-marks,” however, later proved to be a new type of deadly fungus, since named Corpus devoratus. “I was scramblin’ eggs while my toast was toastin’,” [...]
Posted in Sci/Tech, World0 Comments
March 05, 2012
NEW YORK – Rush Limbaugh has been attacked from all sides for his reaction to Georgetown student Sandra Fluke testifying in front of Congress in favor of women’s rights, in which he called Fluke a ‘slut’. In a brilliant PR move, Limbaugh retracted his earlier statement, saying, “I was wrong to say what I did. [...]
Posted in Politics0 Comments
February 29, 2012
TEHRAN – Minutes after the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film was awarded to A Separation, the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that the country will abandon its controversial nuclear program. The president spoke from a makeshift stage set up in the middle of the city’s famous Azadi Square accompanied by a local dance [...]
Posted in Entertainment, Politics, World0 Comments
February 29, 2012
EVANSTON – A SafeRide driver was recently arrested for delivering alcohol to a minor. According to court documents, the minor in question placed a call to SafeRide at 9:30 PM, and a driver was dispatched approximately 50 minutes later with spirits in hand. According to university officials, such wait times are not uncommon for students [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
February 29, 2012
THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD, EAST SUSSEX, ENGLAND – The Lewes Police Force reported Tuesday that Eeyore, the lugubrious but beloved stuffed donkey best known through his acquaintance with Edward Bear (colloquially known as “Winnie-the-Pooh”), was found dead Tuesday. Eeyore, seen at right in a 2003 picture, was 85 years old. Constable Henry Anderson discovered the [...]
Posted in Entertainment, World0 Comments
February 29, 2012
This report continues our series “Where Are They Now?” This week’s installment was written by Northwestern’s infamous Fucksaw. By The Fucksaw Hey, it’s nice to see you all again. I’ve been pretty busy. In and out, you know. As I always say, when life gives you lemons, penetrate them. I’ll be frank with you. I [...]
Posted in Opinion0 Comments
February 29, 2012
The audience at the ceremony watched in shock as the supposed Frenchman bellowed his acceptance speech and proclaimed his JOIE DE VIVRE! to the very rafters of the Kodak Theater in what can only be described as a Brooklyn accent.
Posted in Entertainment0 Comments
February 22, 2012
In a recent miscommunication, Greece sent 100,000 gyros to Germany to avoid debt default. After confusing the delicious pita wraps for the currency, the Greeks remain unashamed.
Posted in World0 Comments
February 22, 2012
EVANSTON – A local Evanston middle school has issued its response to Northwestern’s Dance Marathon. With the fundraiser right around the corner, the school board has decided to organize a Stand-Awkwardly-In-The-Corner Marathon to benefit the B+ Foundation. This esteemed charity, chosen by the local PTA, helps fund childhood cancer research, a cause the middle schoolers [...]
Posted in Local0 Comments
February 22, 2012
EVANSTON – Recent aesthetic changes to the Course and Teacher Evaluation Council (CTEC) will be followed up with entirely new categories at the end of Winter quarter, according to one Registrar administrator. “We were getting complaints from the students that teachers and classes weren’t accurately reflected by prior CTEC scores,” Alice Andrews told Flipside reporters. [...]
Posted in Sci/Tech0 Comments
Added on February 14, 2012
Epic Meal Time to Sell Whiskey Flavored Lube, Bloody Mary Morning After Pill
CRU Confuses Steve Aoki for Jesus, Holds Vigil at Mayfest Chalking
Students Shocked to Learn White Rapper is Complete Asshole
Heaving Drinking Pictures Discourage Organ Search on Facebook
Students Disappointed by Lack of Free Pizza at Herman Cain Event
The Flipside’s First-Ever Magazine Hits Campus This Thursday, May 24th!
Purchaser of “The Scream” Also Buys Nation of Tuvalu
Creepy Friend Request Guy Actually Requesting Kidney, Nbd
Scientists Debate Origins of Obama’s Same Sex Marriage Stance
![[Graduation Issue] English Senior Not Sure What to Do with Collection of Penguin Classics Books](http://www.northwesternflipside.com/wp-content/themes/gazette2.5/thumb.php?src=wp-content/uploads/2012/05/penguin_classics.jpg&w=35&h=35&zc=1&q=90){kind=small}
[Graduation Issue] English Senior Not Sure What to Do with Collection of Penguin Classics Books
