Tag Archives: Area Man

Sorry

The Flipside Would Like to Apologize

Sorry

For the first time in its storied existence, The Onion has issued an apology for its content. Many were outraged when “America’s Finest News Source” targeted 9-year-old Best Actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis with a tasteless expletive, forcing Onion, Inc. CEO Steve Hannah to post a contrite note of regret on his site’s front page. After thorough discussion amongst The Flipside’s executive board and preferred astrologists, we have come to the decision that it is in our best interests for The

lonely-man-at-bar

Area Guy Reminds People About Baseball Playoffs, Exorcised

lonely-man-at-bar

LANSING, MI – In a month where NFL games, college football, and preseason basketball compete for the attention of autumn sports fans, area Guy Steve Parkson has reminded anyone who will listen to him that “baseball is still going on, guys.” “Dudes,” said Parkson, checking MLB scores on his smartphone as his Guy buddies drank beer at a local bar, whose TVs were showing Sports That Were Not Baseball, “the Cardinals just pulled ahead of the Nationals…it looks like they’re

kindle

Area Man Purchases Kindle, Forgets He Doesn’t Give Two Shits about Reading

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EVANSTON—Evanston resident and self-described “gadget nerd” Eric Thompson spent nearly $200 on an Amazon Kindle today despite the fact that he hasn’t read a book in nearly three years. “I just feel like these things are the future of reading, you know?” Thompson stated from the couch in his living room. “These e-ink screens are all the rage now, and I feel like if I don’t buy one of these babies, I won’t be able to read anything when physical

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