Tag Archives: freshmen
After receiving a B+ on her first assignment, Summers believes all she needs is a fresh start. “I just had to accept that this was a bump in the road,” she told her best friend Heather Heathers.
It’s that time of year once again. Hundreds of t-shirts exhibiting zero graphic design skill will descend on the quad like a swarm of, well, sorority girls, or at least future ones anyway.
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter.
Inside the illicitly-occupied buildings, things were getting a bit crazy. Freshman boys from Bobb pretended to know how to smoke marijuana and only coughed a lot a little.
Hobart is the 77-time winner of the award for “Most Poorly Named Women’s Residential College.” Really, everyone calls this place Ho-House. But it’s in the sorority quad, so you’re practically a sorority girl, right?
We’re fully aware that your priority number is shit.
“I thought this would be a fun way for us to reconnect and catch up!” said Peer Advisor Jeanine Houston, whose outward enthusiasm in no way reflects the horrible sense of clinging despair she feels at the prospect of this idea being an absolute piece of shit.
The new pledge classes get to do everything they were forbidden to talk about during recruitment, i.e. everything that made them want to join Greek life in the first place.
“When I come in and grab my grilled cheese and look out at all of the people sitting together whom I don’t know,” said Monroe, “I really don’t get that phased. That just means I can text my mom or read the newspaper.”