Tag Archives: GOP
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently announced that he will be dropping his presidential campaign and picking up a sandwich.
Representative Brett Guthrie said, “Look, a man makes a dollar and a woman makes sixty cents. That’s following the three-fifths compromise to a T. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
Michelle Angelo, who volunteered during both of Obama’s presidential campaigns, said it was this kind of government she had envisioned when she first saw Obama’s “Hope” posters.
Members of the House Tea Party Caucus, who frequently represents the period-costume-wearing wing of the Republican Party, began circulating a memo urging Republican senators to reject the nomination.
The Articles do not contain a president, a Supreme Court, congressional power of taxation, or congressional power to regulate trade. Such a proposal thus represents a minor increase in Republican demands during negotiations.
By closing all national parks, the Ku Klux Klan was forced to cancel their rally in Gettysburg National Military Park. As a result, the shutdown has ended racism.
“Members of Congress are expected to comply with the long-upheld standard of doing nothing right,” said Head of Congressional Security Ron Mullins.
“At… At first I thought that we could just throw some illegals its way and everything would be fine, but then I realized that it only wanted Americans,” stammered House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA).
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Officials from Utah admitted yesterday that they entirely skipped counting the ballots from last week’s general election. Instead of tallying the votes, the Office of Lieutenant Governor, which handles elections in the Beehive State, admitted to just making up numbers that add up to rough estimates of voter turnout. Major news outlets first noticed discrepancies when election projections were made seconds after polls closing with no precincts actually reporting. These discrepancies went largely unnoticed when