THE INTERNET — The Northwestern University Class of 2017 Facebook group saw a three-hundred percent increase in activity this past week when soul-searching accepted student Alyssa Gianonne asked the deep and philosophical question preoccupying every early-decision applicant’s mind: “So what’s everyone, like, MOST excited for next year?” Gianonne commented on her own post thirty seconds later explaining that marching through the historic campus arch, erected in 1993, is something that she predicts will be life changing.
Within minutes, Gianonne’s post received over 340 comments and 287 likes. Accepted student Thomas O’Hara commented, “I’m basically going to live in Norris. I heard it’s super convenient and centrally located, and I just can’t wait to get my mouth on some savory Frontera!”
Another incoming freshman, Robert Grisi, expressed his excitement for “just lying on the Lakefill and relaxing” in the consistently nice weather. “Did you guys hear they even have WiFi? I bet we’ll be able to start doing our homework out by the lake by, like, March! NU’s the coolest!”
The remainder of the comments expressed varying degrees of enthusiasm, and there was a group consensus that it was definitely better they were going here and not one of those “stupid Ivies like Columbia or Yale.” Many also gushed over the school’s proximity to Chicago. “I plan on going in at least once a week, maybe even more. I rode the train all the time in Butte Falls, Oregon, so if anybody needs ‘El’ advice, I’m your girl!” wrote an excited Andrea Park.
Another student, Alex Czirmer, a self-identified “chill bro who’s always looking for a party,” who has also reportedly friend-requested over 95% of the females in the Class of 2017 group, asked about the intricacies of hot cookie bar. “So is this code for an alcohol bar or a bar that serves cookies as well? How exactly do you guys think it works?” inquired Czirmer.
Kerry Stahlin found the thread particularly helpful. “Some of the virtual friends I have made in the group are amazing, and I know we will all hang out once we get to campus!” exclaimed Stahlin. She even proposed that they all paint The Rock the first night, so it can say “Freshmen Rock!” for the entirety of welcome week.