WASHINGTON, D.C. – Scientists have observed the presence of single-celled organisms in Mexico, inviting speculation that the arid wasteland may have sustained life at some point in the past, and could possibly be colonized in the future.

Scientists were quick to caution against unbridled enthusiasm, noting that while thermal imaging has identified possible sources of water just under the surface, probe results have indicated that the soil is an estimated 40% benzoylmethylecgonine (cocaine) and 30% concentrated lead.

The new discovery has reinvigorated public fascination with the red-stained wasteland, the likes of which has not been seen since the science-fiction revival of the 2120s, when films such as The Sands of Mexico and The Angry Red Nation were blasted by critics for their poorly-implemented 3D effects, as well as their nonsensical stories, in which bloodthirsty “Mexicans” attempted to attack America.

Despite the influx of major discoveries over the past few years, many researchers believe that a manned mission to Mexico will remain an impossibility for the foreseeable future.

“The environment’s just too hostile,” explained EPA head Jeff Martin. “It would be a suicide mission. I know the public’s just aching to see man set foot on Mexico, but I must remind them that the last time we sent a team of researchers, in the 2070s, all five members of the crew were reported to have suffered spontaneous decapitation.”

PHOENIX—Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (R) announced this week that the state would be building a Fence of Liberty to greet all those crossing over the border from Mexico. The new structure will be covered in copper, with armed guard towers aloft every 100 yards. On the US side, the fence will read July IV MDCCLXXVI, commemorating the Declaration of Independence, while on the Mexican side it will read April XXIII MMX, commemorating the passage of Arizona Senate Bill 1070, the law that led to the creation of this monument to relations between the two countries.

A press release following the announcement of the Fence of Liberty stated that “it is the hope of the government of Arizona that this endeavor will help to improve US-Mexican relations. It has long been said that good fences make good neighbors and, well, that’s one hell of a fence.”

Yet in spite of official enthusiasm for the project, the Fence of Liberty is not without its detractors, from immigrant-rights groups who claim that the fence represents racism on the part of the state government to firefighters who fear that sun reflecting off of the miles of copper plating will cause massive brushfires. Perhaps the most vocal opposition to the fence comes from the State of New Jersey, which claims that Arizona is infringing on a beloved New Jersey landmark. The State of New York claims that the State of New Jersey is full of shit, and that Arizona is in fact infringing in its beloved landmark.

Without unified legal opposition to the new monument, all these detractors have is their words and their petty East Coast squabbles. Construction on the Fence of Liberty is slated to begin in August, pending funding approval.