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SOUTH BEND, IN — After a hard fought loss to the Northwestern Wildcats, the University of Notre Dame has decided to change its religious affiliation from Catholic to Agnostic. The first of its kind, Notre Dame’s newfound institutional agnosticism was predicated on the overwhelming sense of confusion, frustration, and spiritual suffering following the Fighting Irish’s Saturday evening loss. “After such a clear display of the lack of justice and righteousness on this earth, Notre Dame felt it was unconscionable to
Asshole Student Group Paints Over Emotionally Charged Message on Rock with Lame Advertisements for their Stupid Club
What kind of dicks paint over a racially significant message with white paint?
I personally had to wait to cross a street while his motorcade passed by. I thought pedestrians had the right-of-way, Mr. President.
Inside the illicitly-occupied buildings, things were getting a bit crazy. Freshman boys from Bobb pretended to know how to smoke marijuana and only coughed a lot a little.
John Evans, then governor of Colorado, knew the land well and recognized that it was ripe for growing avocados and, thus, making the great avocado by-product of guacamole.
Travolta pointed out academic buildings such as “Kierkegaard,” “Luddite,” “Annabel,” and, of course, “Trick Inspector.” The hopeful teenagers walked under “The Ache,” observed the beautifully painted “Rob,” and Instagrammed pictures of Chicago from the grassy “Lank Flank.”
“Its rectangular layout ensures you can’t ever get lost,” said Lisa Forbes, McCormick senior.
Life without everyone’s favorite rapper, philosopher and Wildcat has left the Northwestern student body struggling to find its way without Chet’s artistic talent and thoughtful Twitter insights.
1. Northwestern University’s undergraduate campus isn’t in Chicago; it’s in Evanston. Mixing this up will send a message that you haven’t done enough research. Stay away from referencing the city of Chicago, and instead reference beloved Evanston institutions like The Keg or Mayor Tisdahl.