EVANSTON — Even though it’s only been a year, the Northwestern Panhellenic Association (PHA) already is hosting its annual Preview Day on Sunday. Although there won’t be any more controversial cookies, if any members of the too perfect and altogether brilliant class of 2017 are absolutely terrified, prepare yourselves. Recruitment 2014 is happening.
When PHA systematically sorts over 600 potential new members (PNMs) into houses à la Harry Potter without the hat, the process seems slightly secretive (like so many secrets that it might be like trying to join a secret society or something), but here are some things both PNMs and actives can count on definitely happening.
• “Coats off, smiles on, ladies!!!” – an RC t-minus 5 seconds to party time
• A PNM makes a joke about “parties” describing consecutive forced sober conversations
• Antarctica outside, fiery pits of hell inside
• Good handshakes
• Lots of bad handshakes (go practice at Kellogg)
• “May I take your coat?”
• Matching shirts
• “I love your [any clothing item besides shirt]!”
• Water with cucumber
• Water with lemon
• Disappointment when there is only plain water
• Multiple chapters claim having the highest GPA
• Multiple chapters mention formal
• Multiple chapters use the word “sisterhood” over/under 50 times
• Everywhere, all the time: door chants
• An active mentions her future little between parties
• Someone brings up one/multiple of the 5 B’s1
• Mental pat on the back for managing a PHA-approved response to the question, “What did you do for Halloween?”
• Every PNM is premed2
• Medill PNM meets 9th journalism major of the day
• Concern about “resting face”
• Have a semi-decent conversation. Cue rush crush.
• Someone asks if your sorority does drugs. Give up.
• Hot cookie bar, black shirts, and bad resting face –
GDIs Haters everywhere, I don’t really care.
1 Bucks, Bible, Booze, Boys, and Barack/Bush for the southern srat star
2 There are no premed actives.