Cheney Defends Torture Policies, Jim Crow Laws, Compromise of 1850

WASHINGTON—In yet another press conference, former Vice-President Dick Cheney reiterated his support for George W. Bush’s torture policies, comparing them to other unpopular legislation that was once heavily supported.

“President Bush’s stance on torture regarding Guantanamo Bay detainees is not unlike the Jim Crow Laws of the 19th and 20th centuries,” said Cheney to a room of 250 reporters from all around the world. “They both did a lot of good for a lot of people, and they’ve both received a bad rap ever since a black man or two started complaining.”

When asked if he would be in favor of reinstituting the Jim Crow Laws and torture of Guantanamo detainees, Cheney responded with the following:

“If we can go through the policy and conclude that it’s constitutional, we should do what we can to reinstitute old policies that are being tossed aside by the liberal majority. If we would just reconsider the idea of torture, we would realize that there’s nothing in the Constitution that explicitly forbids any kind of punishment just because it is cruel or unusual.”

Cheney’s next press conference, scheduled to be given this Thursday from Capitol Hill, will be on the importance of good cardiovascular health and reinstating the Compromise of 1850.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *