ZOMBIE ISSUE: Zombie Frat Busted for “Menu” in Basement

Delta Upsilon, a predominantly undead frat, was busted earlier in the week for having a full wall in their basement dedicated to girls they had “dined and dashed” on. This wall assigned points to the most gluttonous eaters who had “hit” the most girls.

The frat assigned points to each girl they had eaten or planned to eat, setting goals for larger girls that took more perseverance to eat, and red-headed girls, known as “gingers,” that were less attainable due to their early stages of infection.

“It’s disgusting what these guys are doing. They treat us as if we’re just meat to them. Which I guess we are, but that’s not the point,” said the President of Delta Delta Delta, by far the sorority that had the most eaten members.

Delta Upsilon has also drawn ire for having only one non-zombie member, Darrell Thompson. Thompson is known as the “token uninfected”.

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