NU Sororities Protest Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

EVANSTON — After news broke of Kim Kardashian’s decision to divorce husband of 72 days Kris Humphries, picketers have overrun Northwestern’s sorority quad. Wishing to show their disapproval of the divorce, sorority girls are all coming together to attempt to form a coherent opinion about something in the news.

Sophomore Ashley Carroll of Kappa Gamma stated, “I just don’t think it’s fair that Kim is disappointing all her fans by getting a divorce. It just sets a bad example for those of us excited about marriage and true love.”

Other sorority sisters were seen making signs declaring, “DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE KIMMY” and “YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS IN SEASON 3, EPISODE 7” to inspire Kardashian to work things out with Humphries.

“I have watched all 47 seasons of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and I know that Kim would never marry someone just for money or publicity,” junior Marissa Jenkins of Tri-Sigma remarked. “Anyone who says otherwise is obviously not a real Kim fan.”

Chi Omega Delta senior Jenna Cahill stated in closing: “We would like to extend an invitation for all NU girls to join us for a Twilight movie marathon before the release of Breaking Dawn: Part 1 on November 18th. We think this is an irreplaceable opportunity to bond with other girls over a great example of what it means to really find true love.”


  • greg osborne

    Is this some kind of joke or satire piece? This is what upsets our so-called “best and brightest”? This warrants a news article? Serious emotional distress over what is possibly the most shallow example of television programming in the long and pathetic history of shallow television programming? I remember when there was a sense of social responsibility on the typical American campus. Maybe we need more Gender Studies and Human Sexuality courses. Sure, that’ll fix it.

  • Nick

    Actually it is a satire piece, Greg.

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