Area Man Telling You How You’re a Propaganda-Spewing Sheep

FACEBOOK –- Following your decision to watch a Presidential debate and post a Facebook status in support of your preferred candidate, area man William Burton, whom sources indicate you dimly remember from your days in summer camp, has already left three lengthy comments on your original post detailing exactly how and why you are a propaganda-spewing shill for an illegitimate political movement.

Burton began his tirade by telling you how “disappointed” he was to see you supporting a rival politician to his own, as he had “always considered you smarter than that” and was disheartened to see you “falling for such an obvious narrative of lies hook, line, and sinker.”

When you attempted to diffuse the situation with humor, light-heartedly pointing out a recently publicized gaffe made by Burton’s chosen candidate, Burton reportedly flew into a fit of rage, furiously typing that said gaffe was “completely taken out of context,” and was “further proof that [your candidate]’s campaign is run on empty ad hominem attacks meant to disguise a lack of feasible policy.”

Sources state that Burton then linked you to the heavily polarized homepage of a SuperPAC, instructing you to watch a carefully-edited, high-budget “documentary” of disparaging comments made by your candidate, telling you he hoped that this would “finally open your eyes.”

Sensing the opportunity for intelligent political discourse, Dan Gibson, an avid Ron Paul supporter, posted his own carefully crafted treatise on the merits of limited government: RON PAUL 2012!!!!!

As of print time, Gibson has resumed studying for his tenth grade Chemistry test. You are unsure why you added a friend’s little brother to your Facebook social network.

One comment

  • This past week, Trump offered to give $5 million to a charity of Obama’s choice if he releases his college and passport records. Obama responded by telling his own joke about him and Trump fighting while growing up in Kenya.

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